But this time was different, it floated across actual air into actual ears to an actual body only inches away from her own.
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But this time was different, it floated across actual air into actual ears to an actual body only inches away from her own.
The closet is contested space. It’s the bridge between her private home world and a step in leaving the house, of facing the wider world. Most mornings start with a silent show down.
There’s something magical about the nights when she has put clean sheets on the bed, has clean pajamas, and can retreat within the blankets after a ridiculously hot shower.
“Femme is a disposed femininity. It’s the femininity of those who aren’t allowed to be real women and who have to roll with their own feminine gender…If a femme is someone who has been forbidden to be feminine, then any femme who does femininity is an unauthorized copy”.
The bedroom is off the kitchen. There is a storage cubby behind the door with bins where the informant keeps her clothes instead of a dresser. Next to it is a desk with a director’s chair.
I know everyone says that you’re supposed to have boundaries in regards to the bed but it’s definitely one of my safe spaces.
Steam from her over sugared coffee swirls around her eyes and smells and sensations that she can’t associate with anything other than home wash over her. It is in these moments she can feel her body catching up with the universe.
I also think it’s a form of self-care for me. I read this essay not too long ago about a woman who every evening would rub coconut oil into her skin and take twenty minutes just to be present with herself. Even though I don’t do this every night it forces me to interact with myself in a way that the day to day doesn’t encourage.
“The eyeliner is nonnegotiable”
- a statement made about gender identity years ago at a brewery
The bathroom is small and practical. The bathtub is directly next to the door, it is nearly impossible to get into the tub while the door is open.